If you want to come up with a great dish, you're ingredients have to be of high quality. Especially, if you are Terri of Terri Terri Quite Contrary. You need to take one part Gen-X'er, one part accomplished photographer, 3 parts kids, one part mommy, one part hottie and an extra dose of sassy.


For an extra special St. Patty's Day treat read all about Terri.


1. You've talked about the sense of community on your "About Me" section or at least referred to it. What have you gained from the community you have created with your blog?

The friends I have made through blogging have given me a voice and a sense of self. Blogging has allowed me to voice so many thoughts and opinions I've never had the nerve to voice in my real life. It's such a release to put my true thoughts out there, knowing I'm running the risk of embarrassing myself or drawing disagreement, only to find that in most cases there is overwhelming support and validation. People joke about online friendships, but I have often found that my online community is made up of people who have brought out the real me.



2. Three kids who obviously adore you and you them, but being a parent is hard. How has your perspective of parenting changed after having kids?

Before becoming a parent I had this idealistic attitude about what it would be like. I was going to nurture and encourage my kids. I was going to remember every positive impact of my childhood and make sure my kids experienced the same. I was never going to forget any of the hurts and disappointments and I planned to make sure they never had to suffer those difficulties. I had visions of bringing out the best in them and watching them blossom into the most spectacular people I could imagine. I assumed they would take on only the best of qualities from their parents.

What I didn't take into account is that my children were going to be whomever God intended them to be. I didn't realize that they would keep me guessing. I learned that one child might be easy going and well rounded while another would be obstinate and difficult. One might be driven to succeed academically while another would be content to simply get by. I had to accept that what worked with one child didn't necessarily work with another child. The hardest part was having to accept that I would not always (or "not often") be the perfect parent and sometimes I would fail miserably. I learned to take things one day at a time, to keep trying day after day, year after year in a situation that never seemed to improve and that some things are simply beyond my control. I also learned that before becoming a parent I never could have imagined the depth of pride and love I could feel for another human being.

3. You have a very telling post titled ";Realizations"; on February 24th of 2007. http://territerri.wordpress.com/2007/02/24/realizations/ These are some deep thoughts. It's been a year since you wrote that. What have you learned since then? Have the words you written and your epiphanies changed you?

That post was very much about my realization that I've carried around a lot of bitterness in my lifetime and that it's possible that I have the power to change my outlook on life simply by focusing on more positive thoughts. I'd love to say that those realizations forever changed my attitude for the better, but the reality is, I'm human. There are days in which I feel like I can take on the world and there are days where it feels like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Change... real change takes time and effort and I guess I'd say that it's a work in progress at this point, but hopefully someday that positive thinking will be the norm for me.

4. As much as your post on February 24th was introspective, your February 19th 2007 post was hilarious entitled "Teen Speak". What's different about being a teenager now as opposed to last year when you were a teen?

Last week! HA! I wish! (Actually, I don't wish. Being a teen is a LOT of work!)

Oh, man! SO much has changed. I think about how I couldn't talk to my parents about ANYTHING and how I thought that they didn't even know who I was back then. These days, I think parents are much more open with their kids and one thing I've made a point to do is try to talk to my kids about whatever it is we need to talk about to stay in tune with each other, no matter how uncomfortable those conversations might be. And in spite of how the general attitude is that the world is going to hell in a hand basket, I think kids are better informed these days. They have the opportunity to be so much more responsible than when I was a teen. They are much more aware of the dangers of drugs and drinking and though there are still too many taking those risks, many more are making conscious and informed decisions not to. My oldest, in his first year of college, has not done any drinking. When I tell people that, they tell me my son is pulling the wool over my eyes. But I have a very open relationship with my son and I know him. He'll tell me if and when he decides to drink. (And lest you think this sounds just a little too perfect, let me assure you child #2 does everything in his power to make sure I'm completely unaware of HIS activities, but I digress.)

On the down side, kids may be so much more vulnerable now than ever before. Today kids are in constant communication with each other. My kids have multitudes of contacts in their cell phones and they text each other constantly. They have access to online communities, Myspace and Facebook, and their "friends" number in the hundreds. Everyone is aware of everyone else and it can be scary to think about the kinds of information they absorb.

There is however, one really positive difference I see in my kids lives. When I was in high school, the main goal for everyone seemed to be to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. There was tremendous pressure to have sex at such a young age. I felt like I missed out on exploring so much of myself because I was too busy trying to be what I thought someone else wanted me to be. So much of my own lack of confidence and assertiveness was the result of seeking acceptance at the expense of my own values. My kids are much more focused on exploring their interests, playing sports and improving their skills. Dating has entered the picture a time or two, but it doesn't seem to be the biggest goal. I like that.

5. Do you ever catch men checking you out? How about your son's friends? How do you feel about that?

Oh yeah. I'm REAL popular with the homeless guys that I pass in the skyways on my way into the office! Other than that, there's been an occasion or two when I've caught someone checking me out. I do have to admit that it's an ego boost, but it also makes me feel self conscious. I just don't handle being the center of attention very well.

There is one instance involving a friend of my son that was really embarrassing, especially because my son found it so amusing. We were at the home of one of Brad's friends. Her parents were hosting a gathering for a bunch of kids who were all going to the school semi-formal dance that evening. All of the parents had been invited to meet at their home before the kids left for the dance so that we could get pictures of the kids all dressed in their finest.

I was talking with another mom when I heard Brad trying to get my attention. I looked across the kitchen at him and he was laughing and waving me over. His friend, Trav was grabbing his arms and frantically saying, "NO, Brad! NO!" So I just smiled and continued my conversation. Later on I asked Brad what it was all about. He told me, "Trav asked me if it was ok if he asked you to be his date for the dance. He got really embarrassed when he realized I was going to actually tell you what he said!" No wonder Trav always act so shy around me now!

6. You didn't write for two months in 2007. That's a long time to be away from blogging. What was hard about "getting back in the habit" - and I'm not talking about nuns?

I never took a break from blogging. That gap is the result of my original blog getting hacked beyond repair. When all my posts were transferred to the new site, some of them didn't make it. I'm still planning to recover those. It just hasn't happened yet.

I'm actually a somewhat obsessive blogger. If I don't post for three days or more without explanation, you can assume I'm dead.

7. What parts of you and your husband do you see in your kids? What things do you see in your kids that concern you?

My boys have inherited their dad's passion for wildlife and the outdoors. They live for those occasions when they can be out on the lake hunting or fishing.



Brad is our oldest, and like his dad is a very hard worker and doesn't give up on a task until it's completed to his satisfaction. Brad is accepting of all people and gives everyone a chance, unless they hurt him or someone he cares about. He gets that from me.

Jake, our middle child, has his dad's somewhat obsessive/compulsive/attention deficit personality. He's more like his dad in that he needs to get a feel for people before he'll open himself up to them. Jake has my passion for music of all kinds and the poor kid also got my obstinate and angst-ridden demeanor, no doubt the result of being a middle child, like me.

Kacey is our youngest and like me, she loves to be silly and she's a voracious reader and a high achiever academically. She's not shy. She's a social butterfly. She gets that from her dad. She's taking the world by storm and wants to experience it all. I'm not sure where she gets that, but I love that part of her personality.

Sometimes I notice a hesitation in my kids to believe in themselves and their abilities. I think this is to some degree, a trait they inherited from me. I tend to be introverted and have always been afraid to take risks. When I see them doing this, I feel guilty that I failed to instill a sense of confidence in them.

8. If for some awful reason you were to pass on, what would you want to tell Kacey about being a mom and a woman?

I would tell her to be true to her instincts and to remember that sometimes it takes great difficulty to achieve true success. Follow your heart and you won't go wrong. It's as simple as that.



9. Tell everyone about your best friend.

Ahhh... my best friend! I met Gina twenty years ago when she started dating a good friend of my brother. I liked her right away because she wasn't afraid to be herself no matter where she was or who was around. Our oldest children were born within months of each other and this fact brought us closer together. We navigated the uncharted waters of parenting together and during the years that each of us spent at home taking care of our growing families, daily phone calls kept us sane. She has an eternally optimistic attitude and an infectious personality. We always say that we plan to never grow up because having fun is what keeps us young. We love to sing Karaoke together, and we've done such crazy things as take a 2:00 am trip to Sex World just see all the crazy things they sell. We have cried on each other's shoulders, and laughed like lunatics. We have talked about everything and nothing for countless hours and never run out of things to talk about.



10. What is romantic to you?

Romantic is anything that proves to me that my husband is truly thinking about me, about what's important to me and about what would make me happy. This doesn't come easy to him, but in the past few years, he's made a huge effort to prove to me that he is capable. Last Christmas, he bought me a macro lens for my camera, and for Valentine's Day, a filter for my camera lens. These might not seem romantic to some, but he knows how much I love my camera and he went to great effort to research and purchase the accessories that are compatible with my camera. That meant a lot to me... not that he bought me good gifts but that he spent so much time considering me.

11. How do you stay in such good shape?

Being in shape (if you can call me that) is mostly the result of genetics. I come from a long line of tall, thin people. Although, a few years ago, I noticed that I could no longer eat anything I wanted any time I wanted and that I was buying bigger sizes than ever before. At that time, I was drinking Pepsi all the time. It wasn't uncommon for me to drink four or five cans a day. I gave up the Pepsi and switched to diet pop (yes, POP!) and started taking brisk three-mile walks every day before work. I've fallen out of the daily walking routine and only do a stepper workout a couple times a week, if that. Besides that, I simply try to eat meals that aren't completely unhealthy and just limit the number of snacks I eat. Except for Oreo Cakesters. Those are a staple of my diet.



12. Who would play you and your husband and kids in a movie?

Robert DeNiro (ala Meet the Parents) would play the hubby because his character is very set in his ways and has strong opinions while everyone around him takes his intensity with a grain of salt.

Lauren Graham of Gilmore Girls will play me because her character meets her daughter on her level and isn't afraid to have fun with her. And sometimes the daughter acts more mature than the mom. That definitely mirrors my life.

Brad - Wally Cleaver (go ahead and get in a little trouble sometimes, kid! Not a lot. Just a little.)

Jake - Dennis the Menace (He means well, but .... Well... if there's trouble to be found...)

Kacey - Laura Ingalls (She's got her tomboy side, but she's discovering her girly-girl side lately.)



Bernard Pivot Questions
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1. What is your favorite word?
chocolate


2. What is your least favorite word?
balancethecheckbook


3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Music


4. What turns you off?
Arrogance


5. What is your favorite curse word?
"Fudge Cakes" - is the one I say out loud and the family friendly alternative to the one I use when I'm the only one who can hear me.

6. What sound or noise do you love?
The silence you can hear in the air during a major snowstorm when it's so severe it that the world seems to have come to a stop.

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
The sound of my children BICKERING

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
I'd love to be an interior designer. I am constantly painting the rooms of our house, using various techniques or experimenting with my own, picking bold, even outrageous colors and pulling them together into something that works. Kacey's room is currently painted in a pattern of six different pinks, reds and oranges. Jake's is done in orange, black and gray. I'm contemplating trying a combination of red, cream and teal in my own bedroom.

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Every time I go to the Kirby service center to pick up new bags for the vacuum and the sales guy looks SO happy to see me because you can tell he just doesn't see many people or much action in his job, I realize, I would not like to be the Kirby sales guy. BOH-ring!

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
It took you long enough to figure it out, but I'm happy that you finally did. Welcome home.